I'm sorry, Brian/Bryan Gregory, that confirming the spelling of your name is too much for you to handle

Raymond Chen December 7, 2009 Dec 7, 2009 12/7/09

At 10am on November 30, I received a telephone call at work with "Anonymous" as the caller ID. Strange. But maybe it's the same person who called my office phone from New York at 1am on the day after Thanksgiving and didn't leave a message, and they're just following up on the first business day after the holiday weekend. "Hello?" — ...

How to write like Raymond: Start a sentence with a question mark

Raymond Chen October 20, 2009 Oct 20, 2009 10/20/09

Another installment in the extremely sporadic series on how to write like Raymond. I use the question mark as an emoticon to indicate befuddlement or confusion. (This is not to be confused with the use of an inverted question mark in Spanish.) Here's an imaginary example: To: Cakes and Cookies Discussion Hi, I'm trying to bake a carrot ...

I’m sorry, Brian George, but we got cut off and I couldn’t call you back

Raymond Chen June 5, 2009 Jun 5, 2009 06/5/09

Yesterday, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I receive a telephone call at work. There is that characteristic pause after connecting which tells me that I have probably just been called by a telemarketer. "Hello?" — Hello, I'm Brian George from Liquid Capital Management. Our company founder, Brian Kim, has been working closely with ...

The social skills of a thermonuclear device: Why did you hang up?

Raymond Chen May 5, 2009 May 5, 2009 05/5/09

One morning I'm working in my office and I'm interrupted by a telephone call. The caller-ID shows that it came in through the switchboard. (I.e., somebody called the main Microsoft number and asked for me by name.) Me: Hello? Caller: [angrily] Mr. Chen, why did you hang up? I don't recognize the voice, and I haven't received a phone ...

How to write like Raymond: Intentional typographical errors

Raymond Chen March 20, 2009 Mar 20, 2009 03/20/09

I'm a pretty good speller. If I want to show impatience, I will type very fast and make no attempt to fix the typographical errors. Here's an example: Somebody asked me what the correct name is for a particular user interface element. i don't nkow. call up the online hep and see what the ycall it. It may surprise you to know that I am ...

Sorry, I don’t get calls on this phone often

Raymond Chen December 31, 2008 Dec 31, 2008 12/31/08

Many years ago, I was in a small meeting: It consisted of the project manager, me, and one other person. Just a quick little status meeting to discuss how things were going. We were a few minutes into the meeting when the project manager's cell phone rang. Now, this was back in the days before cell phones were ubiquitous. They were pretty ...

How to write like Raymond: What I tell you three times is true

Raymond Chen March 21, 2008 Mar 21, 2008 03/21/08

Another installment in the extremely sporadic series on how to write like Raymond. On occasion, I'll find myself engaged in a mail thread with a customer who refuses to believe what they're being told and is under the impression that rephrasing the question will get a different answer. "My customer wants to control the name and appearance of...