The Old New Thing

I'm sure that Star Trek-themed parties exist, so why has no one ever scheduled one as a Microsoft holiday party?

July 29, 2013 Jul 29, 2013 07/29/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I was attending a Star Trek-themed company party. Nobody was dressed as a Starfleet officer or anything exotic. Half of the people ignored the party theme and came in cocktail attire, and half were dressed in Renaissance or Elizabethan clothes, but they represented Star Trek aliens because they were not all white Europeans, and ...

At least it's clear who will NOT be bunking together

July 22, 2013 Jul 22, 2013 07/22/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I was on a business trip with two colleagues. We discussed Canadian science broadcaster David Suzuki and how in photos of him as a teenager, he looked like Elvis Presley. (Note: Not actually true as far as I know. Remember, this is a dream.) Fortunately, the hotel room we booked had three beds. But if Michael Jackson hadn't ...

Watch out for those out-of-control Canadian tour buses

July 15, 2013 Jul 15, 2013 07/15/13

Raymond Chen

I don't remember the details, but I dreamed about a bunch of things, including careening through Canada on a tour bus trying to catch a ferry while people worried about their cell phone roaming charges, an episode of Friends shot in the style of ER, and one of my friends in an orange jumpsuit sneaking around...

It really wasn't that fancy a Swedish sentence

July 8, 2013 Jul 8, 2013 07/8/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I was on vacation with my family at a cabin in the woods. I went downstairs with my elder child, and in the playroom I saw another family who are good friends of ours. I guess they chose to vacation at the same place. They had hired a Swedish-speaking nanny to help with the kids. The nanny asked me a simple question, and I gave...

I wonder what sort of efficiency that house gets on the Autobahn

July 1, 2013 Jul 1, 2013 07/1/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I discovered a path behind my house that led to a playground. It also led to the house of one of my friends. To access to the path from her house, you had to swing the stove away from the wall, exposing a secret door. Also, she drove her house to Europe. ("No need to pack your suitcases, kids. We're taking the whole house...

Wait, this is not my regular bicycle commute home

June 24, 2013 Jun 24, 2013 06/24/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I finished biking home and decided not to take the stairs. Instead I took my bicycle into the elevator to go to my dream-land 31st-floor high-rise condo. (As if.) For "security reasons" there were no buttons in the elevator. You had to open a secret panel and flip a circuit-breaker switch corresponding to the floor you want to...

I wonder if the Queen of England ever pulls this sort of prank in real life

June 17, 2013 Jun 17, 2013 06/17/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that I was playing doubles tennis. My partner was Boris Becker. Our opponents were the Queen of England and a policeman on a horse. The horse served his horseshoe, which I returned poorly. As the horseshoe bounced across the ground, it made huge divots. The game was called due to poor ground conditions. The Queen played a game with...

Unexpected complexity of Swedish pronouns, and escaping the resulting embarrassment

June 10, 2013 Jun 10, 2013 06/10/13

Raymond Chen

I dreamed that Swedish had separate third-person-plural pronouns based on gender. They were formed from han and hon by adding a common suffix, but the pattern broke down for det, and I got stuck trying to finish a sentence without knowing the correct word. I was able to escape from this embarrassing situation by using a technique available ...

When a CD gets stuck on infinite repeat during the night

June 3, 2013 Jun 3, 2013 06/3/13

Raymond Chen

One night, the CD player got stuck due to a scratched disc and ended up repeating the same track over and over again. I dreamed that the song was O(n²) in length,¹ with each new verse one bar longer than the previous one, but unlike a cumulative song,² the location of the inserted bar varied randomly from verse to verse. ...