For that, you’ll have to call security
Microsoft has recurring parking problems as well, caused by office space shortages that force employees to be crammed into offices at double or even triple the intended density. Since parking lots are sized based on the expected number of cars, overstuffing a building with employees also results in an overstuffed parking lot. That’s one of the reasons I ride my bicycle to work: There’s always a place to park your bicycle.¹
Occasionally, however, I do drive, and then I find myself hunting for parking like everybody else. One day I thought I spotted a space, only to find that a pick-up truck had decided to take up two spaces. I began to take pictures so I could file a report, when a white SUV drove past, a white SUV with Security written on it.
I caught the attention of the driver and pointed out the problem.
“Hi, this truck is parked in two spaces, and it doesn’t have a parking permit either. Can you do anything about it?”
The driver replied, “You’ll have to call security.”
I was so not expecting that.
I was left speechless for a moment, then managed to reply, “You’re security.”
¹Actually, that wasn’t true ten years ago. Back then, the bike racks were full of bicycles that never moved, because a bicycle that never moves never loses its parking spot. Thankfully, the Real Estate and Facilities folks (known to insiders as RE&F) have since instituted an annual “abandoned bicycle sweep” that ensures that the bike racks are used by people who actually ride their bicycles.