Dr. Carlos Alves, owner and president of the Solomao Alves Group (I’m pretty sure there’s an accent mark missing, but that’s what it says on the site), must be the richest man on the planet: “Company generates annual revenue exceeding $20 billion and owns personal assets valued at $100 trillion.” One hundred trillion dollars in personal assets. That means that he owns pretty much every single thing on the planet, seeing as global wealth was only $97.9 trillion in 2006 by one organization’s estimate. But that’s not all. In addition to being a fantastically wealthy multi-trillionaire, he has a “Ph.D in NASA Technology” and has been “selected in Harvard University as Senior Personality with highest QI.” Whatever QI is. He’s also qualified to joint [sic] a consortiun [sic] consisting of scientists “to expertising [sic] at my works as greatest international Megastar.” What? You’re that awesome but still, nobody has ever heard of you? How do you fix that? Simple: Issue a press release proclaiming how awesome you are.

Mind you, that didn’t appear to help much. The only information available on the Solomao Alves Group I can find on the Internet comes from the directory itself (warning: annoying voice), a vanity publication where you have to pay to be listed. Some people claim it’s a scam.