Justifiable assault with folding chair

Raymond Chen

Raymond

Everybody’s lunchtime conversation a few days ago was the riot at a used laptop sale in Richmond, VA. [Local coverage.] What got me was this fellow Jesse Sandler:

“I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, ‘Bam,'” the 20-year-old said nonchalantly, his eyes glued to the screen of his new iBook, as he tapped away on the keyboard at a testing station.

“They were getting in front of me and I was there a lot earlier than them, so I thought that it was just,” he said.

Because if somebody cuts in front of you in line, you are perfectly justified in assaulting them with a folding chair. That’s one of the guiding principles this country was founded on.

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