One of my friends is a geek, and, naturally, fully researches everything he does, from cement pouring to bicycle parts, perhaps a bit obsessively. He made sure to get five-point restraints for his children’s car seats, for example. And he naturally tightens the belts snugly when putting his children in the car. At one point, as he was strapping his daughter in, she complained, “Ow! I’m too safe!”

Because as far as she was concerned, “being safe” was a synonym for “having a tight seat belt.” I leave you to figure out how she came to this conclusion.