The world’s worst celebrity recasting of the American version of Harry Potter

Raymond Chen

After the first Harry Potter movie came out, I decided to come up with the world’s worst celebrity recasting of the American version of Harry Potter. (Because as we all know, foreign movies don’t do well in the States; they have to be remade with an American cast.) It’s not so much a dream cast as maybe a nightmare. Some of the choices are inspired; others are inspired lunacy.

Gryffindor House
Harry Potter: Adam Sandler
Ron Weasley: Ron Howard

(Backup: David Caruso)
Hermione Granger: Debra Messing
Ginny Weasley: Molly Ringwald
Neville Longbottom: Drew Carey
Ravenclaw House
Cho Chang: Lucy Liu
Hufflepuff House
Cedric Diggory: Ted Raimi
Slytherin House
Draco Malfoy: Ricky Schroeder
Crabbe: Matt Damon
Goyle: Ben Affleck
Hogwarts Staff
Dumbledore: Jack Klugman
McGonagall: Angela Lansbury
Snape: Keanu Reeves
Hagrid: Mr. T
Quirrel: Greg Proops
Lupin: George Clooney
Gilderoy Lockhart: William Shatner
Trelawney: Julia Roberts
Madam Pince: Christine Baranski
Flitwick: Danny DeVito
Other Students
Fleur Delacour: Reese Witherspoon
Viktor Krum: Luke Perry

(Backup: Matthew Perry)
Harry’s Family
James Potter: Michael Richards
Lily Potter: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Sirius Black: Viggo Mortensen
Vernon Dursley: George Wendt
Petunia Dursley: Amy Sedaris
Dudley Dursley: Abraham Benrubi
The Dark Side
Lucius Malfoy: Phil Donahue
Peter Pettigrew: Gilbert Gottfried
You-Know-Who: Leslie Nielsen


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